


The Ice Age

by nostalgia



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Climate Change, F/M, Ice Age - Freeform, Just Married, aliens and stuff, early!River
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-27
Updated: 2012-01-27
Packaged: 2017-10-30 05:17:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/328152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nostalgia/pseuds/nostalgia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River thinks the Doctor is wonderful. So does he, frankly. But just how wonderful is he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ice Age

“The winters were never as bad when I was young.”

“That's what everyone says, Althea,” said the Doctor. 

“But it's true,” she insisted, “those years were warmer, summer and winter.”

“I believe you,” said the Doctor. 

“So can you help us?”

“We're not gods -” he started.

“Why not?” asked River.

The Doctor silenced her with a look. 

“But I'll see what I can do. What _we_ can do.”

River smiled and held her hands out in front of the fire in the middle of the room. “I'm quite new at this,” she said, “but I'm very enthusiastic.”

“She used to be a psychopath,” said the Doctor conversationally, “but don't worry, she's better now.”

“I was cured by the love of a good man.”

“I see,” said their new friend, unconvincingly. “The cold wouldn't be so bad,” she added, getting back to the point, “if you could only make it rain again.”

The Doctor held up his hands. “Not a rain god."

Althea smiled. “I'm sure you wouldn't have been sent here if you couldn't help us. I have faith in you,” she told them, placing a wrinkled hand on the Doctor's knee. 

“He won't let you down,” said River, with certainty. 

“Oh, for the confidence other people have in me,” said the Doctor. 

 

“We could have slept on the TARDIS,” said River, shivering and shifting against her husband. 

“You'll never get to know the universe if you do things like that,” he said. He put an arm round her. “Does that help?”

“Only if it's a prelude to warming me up properly.”

“What, here?” The Doctor looked rather scandalised.

“Why not?”

“You're very... loud.”

“I can be quiet when I want to be.” River smiled. “Are you worried about your reputation as a frigid virgin?”

“I do _not_ have a reputation as a... as a... as anything like that!”

“You do, you know. There's a book about it.”

“Fiction, I'm sure.”

“Don't worry,” said River soothingly, “I'll write a monograph to put things right.”

“River Song, you will do no such thing.”

She kissed his cheek and ruffled his hair. “If you say so, Sweetie.”

 

While the Doctor worked on the weather, River mingled with the locals. It might have been Europe in the early Middle Ages, if people on Earth had three eyes, blue skin, and two sets of teeth. Still, River knew better than to judge by appearances and they were friendly enough. 

“Your husband...” said her newest friend, Murta, as they worked on fixing a broken cart.

It still gave River a little thrill to her stomach when people called him that. It was silly, but what could she do about it? “What about him?”

“Do you really think he can bring the rain back?”

“Oh, he can do anything,” said River. “You know, I've killed him twice and look at how well he's doing.”

“You killed him?”

River waved a hand dismissively. “We got past that.”

“Is he a good husband?”

“He's the only one I've ever had. He's a good shag, though, if that's what you mean.”

Murta blushed greenly.

“Oh,” said River, “have a broken a local taboo? Do we not talk about sex here?”

“No! It's just... I wasn't expecting you to say that.”

River nodded and carried on regardless. “He's very... careful. As though he thinks I'm fragile. I'm not, you know. I'm the exact opposite of fragile.”

“Strong?”

“Very. And the sooner he realises that, the better.”

 

“Well?”

“Well what?” asked the Doctor, holding a test tube up to the light.

“Have you solved the problem yet?”

The Doctor set the equipment down and looked at River. “I can't.”

River blinked. “Pardon?”

“It's cold. It keeps getting colder. There isn't a lot of rain. That's not a coincidence, it's climate change.”

“An ice age?”

The Doctor breathed out slowly. “You can't fight something like that.”

“But they just want some rain. That's easy, the TARDIS can -”

“And then what? I come back every year with a gift-wrapped monsoon? What happens if they wake up one morning covered in expanded ice-cap?”

River persisted. “There are plenty of ways to change a climate. Humans managed it and we weren't even trying.”

“Do you remember why we came here?”

“Something about a festival of art?”

“Not these people's art. The artists are currently small furry mammals a continent away.”

“No, wait,” said River, “you're not telling me these people die so someone else can take over the planet.”

“Actually, I am.”

“And when did you work that out?” asked River, crossing her arms across her chest.

“About five minutes after we arrived. That's why I wanted to leave.”

“Yes, run away like you always do, that's best for everyone, isn't it?” She glared at him. “So you've been pretending to help... why? To impress me? To make it seem like you care?”

The Doctor looked down at his shoes. “I thought I could work something out.”

“We can evacuate,” she suggested. “We can take them somewhere else.”

“Where?”

“I don't know!” 

“Exactly.”

“Is this some sort of test?” asked River. “Instead of a honeymoon you take me to a hopeless situation to see how I'll react? To see if I'm still a psychopath?”

“Of course not.”

“Before Berlin I wouldn't have cared, you're right. But now I do care and I won't let you fail these people.”

“I'm not failing anyone. Some things happen, some things can't happen.”

“So you're not a god but you do get to decide who lives and who dies?”

“I don't _enjoy_ it,” he protested. “I don't like it any more than you do, but I've seen what's supposed to happen and I can't change it.”

“Try.”

The Doctor looked at her steadily. “Why don't you?”

 

“We live _here_ ,” said Althea. “We were born here.”

“And you'll die here!”

“River...” said the Doctor.

“No! I'm all for cultural sensitivity, but there are limits.” She turned back to Althea. “Look, you're _all_ all going to die. No one will even remember you. You'll be archaeology.”

“And we'll be dignified about it, not scurrying away and abandoning everything we have here.”

River held up her hands. “This is stupid. When I die, it'll be kicking and screaming. I'm not going willingly into oblivion for some abstract ideal.”

“It's their choice, River.”

“It's a stupid choice!"

“So it goes,” said the Doctor. 

 

“Take me back to the Stormcage,” said River when they were back in the TARDIS.

“I don't always win, River.”

“I know. But I'd rather you didn't hammer the point home by making me see people suffer and die.” 

“I'll take you back to prison. Later.”

River shook her head. “The honeymoon's already over, Doctor.”

“I know.”

“Did you tell them that they had to die?”

“I explained the situation; they made their own minds up about it.”

“Call me when we're there,” said River, turning to climb the stairs. “I need some time alone.”

 

“This isn't the Stormcage,” said River when she stepped out the TARDIS.

“No. I wanted you to meet someone. An old friend.”

“To tell me how wonderful you are?” asked River, bitterly.

He pushed her gently ahead of him into a cave. “That's not a priority at the moment, no.”

It was dark in the cave, but River could see a shifting pile of rags in one corner. “Rats?”

“Don't be rude. River, this is Nund. Nund, have you met my wife?”

The rags coughed out a laugh. “A wife? Really?”

“She seduced me, I was powerless to resist.”

“I knew it would happen eventually,” said Nund. “She's one of Them, isn't she?”

“Yes.”

Nund sniffed. “I see they've learned to wash themselves.”

“She's from the future. So, yes.”

River was getting used to the half-light. “Doctor, is he..?”

“The last Neanderthal. He's been alone for years. I said I'd bring someone to visit. Apparently he has some things to share that I'm not Earthly enough to know about.” The Doctor frowned. “I shouldn't really approve of things like that.”

“Leave then, Doctor,” said Nund. “Stop wasting time.”

The Doctor nodded. “I'll leave you to your... mutual humanness.”

 

River emerged from the cave to find the Doctor sitting on a rock examining some bones.

“He... he's gone,” she said. She wiped her face on the back of her sleeve. “He was so... resigned to it all. The last of his kind. I wouldn't be so philosophical about it.”

“Extinction does funny things to people,” said the Doctor.

River looked at him carefully. “Yes,” she said, “it does.”

“Stormcage?”

“No.”

“Honeymoon?”

River smiled mirthlessly. “Bit late for that. Just take me somewhere warm.”


End file.
